Q. Speaking of quitting, you actually walked into your husband’s office and announced that you were quitting the church that he pastored! That must have taken amazing strength and determination. How did you ever summon the courage to take such a bold and unconventional step?
A. It was certainly no small decision and it didn’t happen overnight. I had been making feeble attempts to get him to pay attention to what was going on with me for years. I wanted him to see how tired I was and how frustrated. Eventually, I reached the bottom and arrived at that place where I was so miserable I didn’t care what anyone else thought of me. I just wanted out. There is an old saying that a person who has nothing left to lose becomes the most powerful person on earth. I had become that person.
Q. The subtitle of your book is Eight Things You Have to Quit to Change Your Life. Could you give us a brief glimpse of what those eight things are?
A. Certainly. Quit being afraid of what others think. Quit lying to yourself and others. Quit dying to the wrong things. Quit denying anger, sadness and fear. Quit blaming. Quit overfunctioning. Quit faulty thinking. And, lastly, quit living someone else’s life. Virginia Satir once observed that most of us live inhuman lives because we try to live by unhuman rules. The purpose of these eight “Quits” is to allow us to drop those unhuman rules and start living by God’s real rules, not the ones we’ve mistakingly assumed He wants us to live, not by, but up to. By quitting these eight practices, we open the door to allow God in so that He can begin doing a mighty work in our lives.
Q. How do can women benefit from The Emotionally Healthy Woman?
A. I know firsthand that when people pick up a book like mine they are doing so because they are looking for solutions. The book is my own personal manifesto and it expresses my particular beliefs and values. In my own life, the list of “I Quits” that I showcase became the catalyst for my own personal solution, bringing me out of illusion and into reality and from inner bondage into freedom. I hope that what I have shared with will spark ways in which God can speak directly to them. And it is my prayer, of course, that God will give all of us the courage to stop living divided lives. Remember, quitting goes hand in hand with choosing, so when we quit those things that are damaging to our lives, we are free to choose other ways that lead to new life. And it is never too late to quit.
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